The clap back: A response to a criticism with a viciously acute comeback intended to put someone in much-needed check.
Why are people mean? Stupid question I guess, I doubt anyone will respond to that with anything I haven’t already heard…… “Misery loves company”, “It’s not about you it’s about them”, They are dead inside”.
Funny thing, when someone is mean and cruel it sure as shit feels like it’s about you.
Last week I posted my most personal blog to date. I dug deep, opened my heart, my soul. Exposed things about myself that were not flattering, but we’re definitely real, and honest.
I felt such a sense of release, authenticity, and transparency when I posted that blog, I slept well for the first time in months.
The next morning I woke up to a comment from a person I didn’t know. A complete stranger who felt it was her civic duty to tear apart my story, my truth, and my grammar… she even went as far as suggesting that my high school aged daughter proofread my work before I published it. What did I do? I clapped back. I emailed her congratulating her on being my first official hater, and that now I felt accomplished. Kinda like my last name should be Kardashian or Jenner.
Immediately in my inbox came a response “?”. I respond: what is the question…. The woman on the other end said I don’t know you, I didn’t even read your blog.
Long story short, A woman in Detroit is using a woman in Australia ’s email address. Trolling the internet being a cyber bully using the Aussie’s email as she lights fires and creates pandemonium. All the while my poor new friend Kellie (oh the irony) is left trying to clean up the mess, and apologize for someone she has never even met. This has been going on randomly for years. Why the powers that be at Google can’t help the poor girl out is beyond me, but that’s a whole nother thing. Moral of that story: “you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good”
Some bitch was trying to hurt a complete stranger and this complete stranger wasn’t having it, so I clapped back. As it turns out I made a new friend. All the way across the world is a Woman whose name is the same as mine, spelled the same way. She not only loves my blog, but is a kind, and wonderful person. I feel blessed, this one has a happy ending but too many of these situations don’t.
Why are we so cruel to each other? Why hate on someone at all??? You hear it a lot in the music industry, people going for the jugular, saying anything to hurt or discredit someone. To me, there is nothing more unattractive in a person that jealousy or hatred.
“What’s worse looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy? Me, being walked all over lately. I’d rather be crazy”-Beyonce
If we are to lead by example, we have to get our own shit out of the way so we CAN be a blessing to others… to lift them up, not tear them down. If you are ugly on the inside there is nothing a glam squad can do to balance that out on the outside. People will think you are cute until you open your mouth.
If you are hurting, which most people who do mean things are…. talk to someone. Get right. It’s not fair to ruin someone else day just because it gets you out of your own head for a minute. And please stop making excuses for your shitty behavior. Take responsibility for your actions and then CHANGE them. Do the right thing, not because you want to but because you need to. And for god sakes apologize. There is power in words both good and bad.
I do believe that all people are inherently good, I really do, even when they prove me wrong. I still don’t understand how or why people dissolve friendships and turn their backs on those whom they used to be close to. I understand personal boundaries….you gotta take care of you….. but love has its own boundaries. So if you loved someone as a friend or more than love shouldn’t change. Their behavior may not be something you can deal with but try looking past that into their heart. We’ve become so hard and unloving, the ME generation…. As if loving someone, somehow makes you less than. It takes courage to love. To be compassionate an patient. To see past the pain and the behavior and into the heart. Be wise, but be kind. You can heal or hurt, it’s up to you.
“I mean she’s ok, but she aint all that, She aint the next bitch, tell that bitch to fall back”
“See I’m a hater, I go hard listen, let’s begin….. You know her last names Minaj? She’s a lesbian. She gets me so sick, it makes me vomit. That’s why I spend my time online, leaving’ comments.”
“Still I rise, Still I fight, Still I might crack a smile. Keep my eyes on the prize.. See my haters, tell ’em hi”
“One day you’ll remember this, one day when we reminisce nothing I do is good enough for the music biz. Nothing I do is good enough for you”-N.Minaj