“Them old mistakes are gone, I won’t do them no more. That’s old news, there’s new news, I done did that before. My lessons made blessings. Less talkin’ more action you just goin’…. CiCi coming.’
“Fake friends get dropped like weight, Team love don’t want no hate. I’m grinding, I’m shining. up, up, up, I’m on my way.”
“Thank god I never settled this view is way much better I’m chillin, I’m winnin’ like on another level. Oh, you can talk all you want. Level up. Level up. Level up.
See me….I see greater. Nothin’ I’m afraid of hater, and ya I can have it all’…Ciara- Level up
I want to start this blog by confessing that whenever I close my eyes and imagine myself…. I look like Ciara… not sure why but In my mind’s eye…. Ciara.
I feel the overwhelming need to share with you my greatest discovery in building self-esteem, overcoming obstacles, and feeling like a boss…The Fake Ponytail. Now, if you know me you know that unless my hair is braided or I am feeling extra natural, I am wearing one of my 24 (yes you read that right) fake ponytails. They range in color and style but they all have one thing in common… the ability to make me look polished and cute. All the while getting attention from men and woman like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
Over the years I’ve had long hair, short hair… every color imaginable. Extensions weaves, braids… you name it I’ve had it. I’ve always kept it cute for me, and for the line of work I am in. Nobody is inspired by busted and crusty- but I do work out for a living so my hair has to be somewhat conducive to my lifestyle of sweat and spandex.
I wore my hair in various types and styles of braids for almost a year so I decided to take a break from the braid life. I wasn’t really feeling my own hair, and at this point, a wig is out of the question. Tried it. Epic fail. So here I am getting ready for my daughter’s cheer banquet and drive by the hair store. You know the beauty supply where you buy your hair for braiding or extensions. Up until that day I had ignored the giant neon sign saying “ponytails” because I thought ehh. Well, this day I had to do something to look cute for the banquet and make the other cheer moms hate me even more and gain cool points from the rest of the squad. My daughter could care less how I look because shes consumed with her own reflection, which most teenagers are. But her friends think I’m kind of amazing.
I walk over to the ponytail section a choose a long-dark brown ponytail curled like a contestant for a beauty pageant would wear and say what the hell, I’ll try it. I go home slick my own hair back pop on the pony and head over to the banquet. As soon as I walk in I feel like there is a spotlight on me as heads turn to see who this raven-haired beauty is. I see the disappointment in their faces once they realize it just me. But hear squeals of delight by the cheer squad as I walk over…”omg your hair is soooo cute, I love your pony”. the compliments were endless. Feeling very cute I go back to my table and received a facetime call from my ex-husband. Now I have a strict no face timing rule without the proper lighting and filter but this night I made an exception. I take the call. “Whoa you look amazing,” says X-2, “Oh thanks,” I say coyly, “whats going on’? He proceeds to ramble on about something and then says “hey send me a picture of you tonight, you look really good” (he’s so self-absorbed he didn’t realize I was wearing 18 inches of fake hair). I never did send him the picture btw… I do have some self-respect.
Fast forward to the next morning, I’m going to wear my pony to teach because although it is a little pageant-like I still rock the shit out of it.
I go to Starbucks just like everyother day, A gentleman opens the door for me and then asks me if he can buy my coffee (its the pony). I walk into my cycle room and see the same students I see every day, Two of my regular guys look at me like I’ve just transformed into Ciara and say wow I love your hair…… ( pony). The double takes and compliments just kept coming. I couldn’t believe that a stupid ponytail was getting me so much positive attention and more importantly why did it take me so long to discover this??
I have never felt so cute…. who knew a ponytail could bring such power? I go out into the fields and start collecting ponytails. I order them online, I go to every hair store in the valley…… I now have many many ponies. With each pony I feel a different way, the straight ones are more polished, the blonde more fun and the dark ones mysterious. I can completely change my look and my personality with one small element. I even went as far as to buy a pink one and a mermaid teal (those are fan favorites in my silver sneakers seniors class).
I was desperate to get one of my Managers to notice me…. insert the pony, I bopped by his office (like I do everytime I’m in the club) this time wearing a sassy long light brown number… his response “poppin”…yaaaaaaaaa
At one point I was getting to know I guy I met online, (that’s a blog in of itself) he asked me WHY I wore the fake ponytail…. at first I was amazed at the question…..I mean come on really? Then I just deleted his number, I mean if he didn’t get it there was no use in furthering the relationship.
In reality, what makes us feel cute translates into every area of our lives. It may sound superficial to some, but I have found that when a woman feels attractive she is more confident and motivated and it transcends into all facets of her life. Why do you think Kylie Jenner is so rich? She sells not only an image of beauty but the products to help you get there. Try this, find a girl whose hair is busted and is wearing wrinkled clothes…. ask her how her day is going…. and then be prepared to run.
Bottom line.. you do you, if you feel comfortable au natural I applaud you, be organic but if you are feeling a little basic and need a pick me up… Level up.
With love and fun, A.K.