Now that wasn’t so hard to admit, that I suck at this dating game. The game that almost every person in my life has told me to do. The game that is accepted and even revered by some. The game That allows people to meet, converse and maybe even date from the security of their home (or work, or wherever, really). For me…..online dating is not for me.
It’s fun, in the beginning. Setting up profiles, picking my best edited/filtered photos. Thinking of witty things to say without sounding bitter and bitchy. Giving a little of who I am but not enough to feel personal rejection if they don’t “like” me. Then looking (and laughing, sorry but COME ON… that picture!) at others profiles and waiting to see if any of these guys think I’m foxy- (well let’s be honest, online dating isn’t about finding your soul mate).
For me the first 3 days is fun, swiping right, liking or whatever the site’s protocol is. Then it just isn’t anymore. Truth be told I am not interested in the “good morning beautiful” from random dudes. In the beginning, it was great for my ego. But then the endless boring five words texts came in… “how are you?” “what are you looking for?”What are you doing tonight?” “do you really work in a gym”?. Yea the GYM not the Pentagon, stupid. As in all areas of my life, I am sure I have unrealistic expectations. Am I really going to find THAT GUY on-line? Not with my attitude that’s for sure. Funny thing is I really don’t care.
I still believe in the organic meet. Being able to look someone in the eye and try to read them based on not only what they are saying but how they are acting. Words are cheap, we know this. Hiding behind a keyboard or even talking on the phone so much can be fabricated. Does anyone even look like their profile pics? I sure as shit don’t….. (thank god for snap chat filters).
So what happens? Do I stay single forever? Maybe. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I am lonely and would love some male companionship. But still, in my heart, I believe that man will somehow find me or I will find him if we are meant to be.
You might call me naive, and that’s okay. I would rather be naive and alone than miserable in a bad relationship.
So I tried… five different dating sites and nothing. At least now I can tell people when they ask me “why don’t you try online dating” I can say I did. (and I suck at it).
Everything we do in life is a learning experience, from this, I take away that I am not old and dried up. Men still find me attractive, and I did see and converse with some attractive men. The last time I actively dated was 16 years ago so getting used to dating within my age range will be challenging, but It’s all good. My man is out there somewhere I know it. When its time, I’ll be ready-ish.
“Oh, don’t pray for love. Oh, say love. Just ask the lonely, just ask the lonely. Have you ever been through life’s challenges? Promises? Get down here I’m praying” T-Scott
love love A.K.