Last week I was at work, minding my business as usual (lol), and I was approached by another Fitness instructor whom I’ve known for years but am not really friends with.
She is an interesting character, years of hard life and wayyyyy too many hours in a tanning bed has cast an orangish tone to her skin. I am not sure of her actual age, but I am sure it’s much younger than she looks because of the sagging skin and outdated workout attire. (Not passing judgement, just stating facts). Her makeup is always all over her face and hair unruly. You know the type. Anyway, this woman has taken my class off and on for years. Being that I don’t know her, I didn’t really have any opinions or given her much thought other than to warn her to stay out of the sun, but its way too late for that.
So, she comes up to me with her eyes looking down as if she was ashamed, now I am really confused. Then the word vomit “I am so sorry for all the things I’ve done to you in the past, I am trying to work my program but sometimes fall short in my effort to stay sober”. HUH? She continues “You are an excellent instructor (yes I know), and I never gave you a fair shot or gave you enough credit”. Still confused. “And I just want to apologize for all the terrible things I’ve said about you and done to you over the past few years”. Wait, what? I finally look at her and say ” I don’t have a problem with you, I never have”. She responses “Oh but I hated you, and now that I look back I realized I just hated myself” duh. I said its all good, no harm no foul. She continues on and on and on…. “I am sorry for telling people you suck” thanks, “I am sorry that I started rumors about you that weren’t true” oh that was YOU. “I am sorry for complaining about you and your class to the manager when you did nothing wrong…I am just sorry for everything”. Now there are tears and she is trying to hug me. Oh boy.
In reality, this person NEVER took up space in my head. I couldn’t be mad at her now if I didn’t even know she had done such things in the past, right? Right, says the voice of compassion that dominates my astrological sign.
So I gave her a hug, assured her everything was fine between us and walked away.
Then I started to think about what she had said… I wish I could tell you it didn’t bother me. But that would be a lie. I understood her need to apologize so that SHE felt better but she basically handed me the baton and said here you go, now you process this.
People are funny, they act without thinking, hurt without caring, and then when their lives turn to shit they reflect on their own actions and try to fix them by admitting them.
Only it doesn’t fix them, does it? She might feel better, but now I can’t stop wondering how many time I was “talked to” or watched by management because of her false claims?
It is crazy that I work in an industry that someone else’s issues can result in disciplinary measures when the person has literally done NOTHING wrong.
And it’s not just my industry, its all areas of service. The Customer is NOT always right, in fact sometimes they are crazy. We are conditioned over and over again to appease them and sacrifice our own selves. It’s not okay.
It didn’t take much time to get over it but it did make me think. I do try my best not to complain about other people and just live my life. I do slip however, we all do. Just do me a favor, next time you want to complain about how awful someone else is, look at yourself first.
Happy Hump day everyone….. we made through day 3.