​Day 2: Adulting

Day 2! This morning I woke up about 5:30, got up, let the dogs out…… just kidding, not blogging about my daily life unless of course there is a good story to be told. And today has been kinda slow so here’s a good one.

In the days, weeks, months after my Mom’s death, I was suddenly responsible for a slew of new things. House things, bank things, you know the grown-up stuff. Having been spoiled up to this point by my mother I was a little lost, and definitely on my own, but such things had to be handled.  I refer to this time in my life as adulting.

One of the most important grown-up errands was to take care of the bank situation. Making sure all of our paperwork was complete and titles transferred from mom to me. Once I had all the proper documentation (death certs, will, living trust, a vile of my daughters’ blood), I was able to make an appointment with the bank to handle such business. My appointment was at 1:30 which gave me enough time to come home, eat, gather my stuff and go meet my bank liaison.

I walk out of my house at 1:15 and looked down my driveway to see a car that was parallel parked right in front of it… I couldn’t get my car out! Okay, lets back this up a little. I live nearly across the street from a senior center. More often than not the street is full of cars that belong to members of such center.  Almost always the space in front of my house is taken along with most of my neighbors. We don’t like it, but its just part of living in this crazy town.

MAD, I grab my phone and run over to the senior center “Who parked in front of my driveway” I screamed…. Whose car is that??? A large group of seniors were in the game room playing some type of card game. I asked again “WHOSE CAR IS THAT”! I pointed across the street and realized that not everyone in the room could see the car to which I was referring to. I then stomped over to the window, pulled up the blind and said “THAT CAR!, WHO DRIVES THAT CAR?”

At this point, not one person had taken their eyes off the hand of cards they held. “I am going to call 911 and have the car towed, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT” I yell. Still nothing. So, being a woman of my word I dialed 911…. “what’s your emergency” the operator asked. “Someone is blocking my driveway with their car and I can’t get my car out, I have a very important appointment”. “Is there anyone in the car?” the dry 911 operator asked me. “I don’t know”. I said. “Please go over to the vehicle and see if there is a body in the car,” the 911 operator said. “FINE,” I said as I stomp back across the street. “No one in the car”, I respond to the operator, who then hung up on me! RUDE. So I called back… The next operator was even drier than the first and then explained to me that 911 was for EMERGENCIES only, and I had a parking situation on my hand, not a life-threatening emergency, oh ya I said…. “sorry.”

Shit, what the fuck am I going to do? Then I see a lady walking leisurely towards me. “Is this your car?” I ask. “Oh yes, I am so sorry”. Sorry???? WHY would you park in front of my DRIVEWAY?? (she literally had to parallel park into it because there were cars on both sides of the driveway.) “Nevermind, just move because I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT”.

The crazies had clearly taken over as I scream out my window as I drive off “I called the tow truck…. they are coming”!! I didn’t call the tow truck, but I was about to!!

Luckily the bank is only blocks away and I made to my big girl appointment on time. Three hours of sign here, initial here. scan this, get this notarized, and we were almost finished. It was time to set up my individual accounts and get the hell out of there.

My bank representative was amazing, we’d been through several meetings prior to this and she was patient and compassionate while I cried many times during the process. She even listened as I told my story about the car and 911 mishap. It was now time for my security questions: 1. Which celebrity do you think you most resemble? “Ciara” I answered without hesitation. She just sat there and looked at me. (In case you don’t know me, I look NOTHING like Ciara but she asked a question, and that was my answer). “Let’s try another one,” she said… “why? I asked, “I’ll remember that”. She said “because you don’t look like Ciara. Well, I feel like Ciara sometimes isn’t that enough? They are your stupid questions, I thought to myself rolling my eyes. Whatever, fine ask another.

We made it through the process of me setting up my accounts and I was on my way. I felt a sense of relief and accomplishment as I could now check off one more thing that was on my Mommy list. Adulting at its finest.

Seven blogs in seven days…..

As I was driving to work this morning, daydreaming about my life ( I am a Pisces we live half our lives in thought) “why don’t you blog for seven days straight” popped into my head…. hmmm I thought, why DON’T I? Then I laughed to myself remembering all the things people say to me about what a great writer I am but a shitshow in person and thought…7 days is ALOT of me. Here’s the thing…. you don’t HAVE to read all of them or any of them. Clearly, I am doing this for me and not your approval so I am gonna do it. Blog for seven days straight.

No, yesterday doesn’t count.

I am interested, however, in what might come up in my life over the course of the next seven days now that I’ve opened my big mouth and committed to this. See, the thing with me is if I say it is going to happen, it will. I don’t always commit, but when I do it’s a done deal. I feel very strongly in the power of my word, so I don’t take commitments lightly. If I say I am going to do something, I am going to do it. Just ask my daughter, she will tell you.

I think consistency is one of the most important elements in a child’s life.  It builds security and stability. Trust is formed when a person tells a child something is going to happen, and then makes it happen. My daughter never doubted that if I told her I was going to punish her, I would. For every bad decision or action, there is a consequence. She also always knew that if I promised her something, she’d get it. I was very rationale in my raising of my pre-teen daughter. She’s a smart girl, so we didn’t have any problems until recently, and even now… she knows I mean business and I am willing to have her hate me in order to raise her right.

I might be ALOT (rolling my eyes) but I do come from a place of love, always. My intentions are pure and I do want what’s best for all the people in my life.

Unless I hate you. Just kidding, I don’t hate anyone. What a waste of emotion. It takes all the power away from you and gives it to someone who probably doesn’t deserve it and will wreak havoc and create drama whenever they go. Ya no thanks, bye.

I am enjoying this woman, 2.0 who is less stressed (most days) and finds pleasure in the success of others. I have been a fitness instructor for 28 years, it CAN’T still be about me. (yes I was 12 when I started teaching… wink wink). I am thankful for the people who get up and take my class, some every day, some whenever they can…. I often tell my students that I need them WAY more than they need me… I’ve heard ALL of my stories and sometimes the sound of my voice is just annoying….. lol. But it’s true.

Ok, day one of seven, I promise not to get so desperate for content that I start talking about rearranging my closet. (I had NO idea that people actually wrote about such things but they do). I will try to give you a little break from your day and have you experience life through my eyes. I do see some interesting stuff on the daily. It used to bother me but now I just laugh thinking I should put THAT in the blog….

For example, this very morning I was teaching a yoga class. One section of the class I encourage the students to express themselves through their vinyasas. One gentleman interpreted that as his time to practice his ballet positions…… So while the class was doing our YOGA warm-ups he was all over the place in his ballet interpretation. Did I say anything? Nah, I just thought… well there is my first story for the blog day 1.

Talk at you tomorrow my friends, be happy. Love freely, and let that shit go that is weighing you down. You don’t need it….. you never did.

Your biggest fan, A.K.,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where do I even begin?

It seems like forever since I’ve blogged… Probably because it kinda has.  I started this blog a year ago to somehow get the word out that I was trying to break into the world of writing. I dream I’ve had my entire life. But after a few short months of funny stories and life lessons, my life took an unexpected turn and my blogs became less frequent and were mostly about my Mother, her failing health, and ultimately her passing.

I need to get back on track…. although the blog was a great tool for me to get information out about my mom and was cathartic at times, it was not created to be a forum for me to reveal all my sad sad thoughts. I created it to make you laugh and think. So let’s get back to business.

Over the course of a year, I have had many reactions to this blog, mostly positive, but it also opened the door for unwanted opinions of me from people whose thoughts of me I could give a shit. Interesting how you open up a little part of yourself to the world and some people take that as an invitation to tell you all the things they think about you. Ya, I didn’t ask but thanks….not.

For example “you are a nightmare in person, but you are SUCH a good writer”…. um thanks? “In real life, you are ALOT but when I read your blog it is so perfectly articulated” wow you must’ve really thought about that one. The backhanded compliments go on and on. Funny, I’ve never asked anyone what they thought of my blog, probably for that very reason. Words are heavy, they hurt and can stay with you forever if you let them, so why are people so irresponsible in what they say? Just because it might not hurt YOUR feelings what makes you think it won’t hurt mine? Or do you care? and who asked you anyway?? (Not me, that’s for sure).

As I emerge from the destruction that has been the past 7 months or so in my life I look at things differently. I truly learned so much about people, the world and myself that I have renamed myself 2.0. I often speak of myself in the third person just to remind others and me that I have evolved and am now a better version of the old me, thus the 2.0 status. Does that mean anything? Not really. Have I really changed? Maybe a little. I have definitely grown up, something I didn’t realize I was avoiding until I was thrown into actually being a single mom. I thought I was a single mom before because I didn’t have a male co-parent. But I had something so much better, my mom, as my co-parent. Now I have neither. It is scary and sad and satisfying all at the same time. I fuck up more than I ever have in my life. But when I have a good day and do everything right, the win is all mine.

I have learned to look inward for my answers, and stop blaming others for my failures. To do something every day that scares me or that I don’t want to do, because life isn’t all about what I want. I remind myself that NOTHING is forever and this feeling won’t always be here. Every day I wake up a little lighter, with more feelings of hope than sadness. And every day I still get up.

Funny how now that the long list of things to do is getting smaller, my life is filling with laughter and funny stories again. I was worried that I’d never laugh the same or that the crazy things that used to happen to me would never again. I was scared that my life took a permanent turn into boring and pitiful…. but I was wrong. My life will always be something that would be a great reality show, simply because I am in it.

As I push away the sadness and clear out the pain, I find myself again… only 2.0 is so much better…. Now if I could only figure out HOW to parent a teenager… I’d really be good… The Karma my father promised I’d have is in full swing and I am sure he and my mother are watching over me laughing their asses off…. as they should be. I deserve it.

Stay tuned, crazy stories and shit talking is on the horizon….

With love, laughter, and hope, 2.0